King and Queen, Episode 16

King & Queen is a Kpop fan fiction drama that is released in an episodic format exclusively at Critical Kpop. Enjoy and keep tuning in for the continuing story! Catch up on previous episodes here!

***

Her footsteps echo much too loudly through the empty hallways of Kpop High, but Ailee cannot stop. She’s aware of the police who would lock her in her dorm room, aware of the Nameless who would kill her for what she knows, but her only concern is putting space between herself and Zico. That she began the night as his date is a thought that sickens her now. Even Rap Monster, sweet boy, can only remind her of the eventual betrayal of all men. The promises that collapse when you most need to hold them tight.

Ailee storms down one hallway and the next, with Rap Monster tip-toeing behind her, urging caution. She’s not even sure what she’s looking for at this point. Something broken, she thinks. Something burning. Something she can fix. What she finds is Jonghyun, standing at the end of the next hallway as if he were waiting for her this whole time. A flame waiting patiently for a moth to come along.

“Ailee,” Rap Monster whispers his warning, “He’s dangerous. We should go.”

She walks forward anyways, and the click of her heels announce her approach like drums before a king. They are surrounded on either side by glass cases of trophies and placards announcing Kpop High’s illustrious past. Jonghyun makes her walk the full length of the hall before deigning to greet her.

“Ailee,” he says, with an angled nod of his head.

“Jonghyun,” Rap Monster answers, now standing beside her, his previous timidity gone, or at least hidden.

“Going on a late-night walk?” Jonghyun asks, mockery in his tone.

“Not quite, Grand Master,” she says. Jonghyun’s smile falters, but not for long.

“So you know my proper title. Very well, let us call a spade, a spade.”

“And a snake, a snake.” Ailee narrows her eyes at the man-who-might-be-murderer. She threatens without knowing what danger awaits her.

“Hardly complimentary. And what would you know of snakes, Ailee?” Though perfectly still, Jonghyun seems to slither back and forth ever so slightly.

“I know them when I see them.”

“And yet you did not complain when I helped you escape Tony An’s watch. You didn’t accuse me of anything when I helped you find your little pet.”

Ailee grabs Rap Monster’s shoulder to keep him from charging.

“We know what you’ve done,” he says through bared teeth.

“And what is that?”

“You shot JYP.”

“Goodness, is that what you think?” Jonghyun says, still mirthful. “That I had something to do with that tragic event? Tell me, do my hands look unclean? Do I look like the sort of person that would shoot a man in cold blood?”

“No,” Ailee says. “You look like someone who would do whatever it takes to get what you wan

“At last, we’re getting somewhere.” Jonghyun takes two steps forward. “And tell me, what is it that you want, Ailee?”

The question surprises her.

“Do you have a great desire to be an outcast? A social pariah? Is the thing you want most in this life for everyone to smile politely to your face and then gossip when you turn your back?” Another step forward. “And you, Rap Monster. You came to Kpop High hoping that you wouldn’t fit in? You came just for the opportunity to reject being an idol at every turn? I doubt that very much.” Another step and now Jonghyun is only an arm’s length away. “I think that what you want, what both of you want, is the same thing that drives all of us. Fame and glory,” he says, then drops to a whisper. “Look where we are, surrounded by trophies and medallions, golden discs and platinum records. Aren’t we all here to be King and Queen of Kpop High?”

“I don’t want that,” Ailee says.

“And yet your name was written in the winners’ envelope. Curious. Did you put it there?” As he speaks, Jonghyun removes a switchblade from the pocket of his suit coat. He opens it with a flick and waves it gracefully in front of Rap Monster. “Tell me honestly, Ailee. I won’t be mad.”

Her heart is racing. She can see the fear in Rap Monster’s eyes reflected off the smooth metal of the knife.

“Did you try to cheat your way to winning?”

“Of course not,” she says.

“Do you admit it’s curious, though?”

When Ailee does not answer, Jonghyun forces the knife below Rap Monster’s throat. “Yes,” she says.

“Who would vote for me?”

“But you maintain you had nothing to do with it.” Jonghyun looks directly in Rap Monster’s eyes, but his question is still for her.

“Yes.” Yes, she says, and hopes she is not condemning Rap Monster with her honestly.

“A pity,” Jonghyun says, turning the knife towards her. “We’re always looking for ambitious new recruits. It seems I have no need for you.”

Ailee’s voice is trapped inside her as Jonghyun grabs her in a headlock. He points the knife first at Rap Monster, then, at her. The point of the blade dimples her cheek, and Rap Monster can only watch, frozen and helpless. She sees the promise of all men collapse in his eyes.

Ailee waits for her life to flash before her. She waits for images of her lonely childhood, of her mother and father’s coldness, of the joy she found in singing. She waits to relive the day of her audition, the happiness she felt when she got in. She waits to feel the cold settle in, as she passes from this world to the next.

Instead she feels a jolt, and then Jonghyun slides to the floor beside her like a ragdoll.

She spins around.

“Zico?”

He’s standing there, holding an old trophy, upside down, the base having just connected with Jonghyun’s skull.

***

Krystal screams, “Don’t just stand there! Help!” as she tries to hold IU down against one of the bathroom stall doors with the rest of 4Minute. The rest of 4Minute, Amber notices, except for HyunA. She knows she should help. Krystal is her friend. Her fellow member. Part of her team. But then why does she keep looking to HyunA? Why does she expect her to be her guide?

Even HyunA seems to be annoyed by Amber’s indecision. She snorts, looks away. Gayoon, her cheek bleeding, has joined the fray, slapping IU across her face, out for blood. Blood is what she gets, as IU spits some in her face.

Everything is pointing to IU being some crazed killer here. The way IU laughs as Gayoon screams. The way she pushes away Krystal and 4Minute, desperate to flee. Logic is pointing towards IU’s guilt. But there’s something tugging at Amber, making her doubt her friend, this scene, everything that made her sneak out tonight to begin with.

Years later, she’ll think that her doubt set in the moment Krystal argued with HyunA, how she saw her friend’s true colors then and there. Or perhaps it was when she saw the look on IU’s face, and could see in her eyes that not all was as it seems.

But the real reason Amber pushes down 4Minute, tripping Krystal to the ground, screaming at HyunA to help IU as they rush out the doors, is because Amber’s intuition, often subconscious, was so finely tuned that it would often lead her to these conclusions. Her intuition had led her to sneaking out with HyunA, because her subconscious knew that HyunA had her best interests in mind. Her intuition told her that Krystal could not be trusted. Her intuition, her gut, her sense of right and wrong, told her that no matter what she did, she had to save IU and get the hell out of there.

She can hear Krystal wailing behind, HyunA laughing, carrying IU with her. She can see the front door, to freedom.

Years later she’ll wonder why they didn’t keep running. How different things would have ended up for all of them. But most of all she’ll remember when they heard the voice scream, “Stop!” And she’ll wonder, why oh why on earth did they listen?

To Be Continued...

-C

Are You Not Teased?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Kpop because the teasers have won. Even with all of major releases this week, we're seeing a major uptick of teasers, what's upcoming, so close and so far, in our Twitter feed. Which made us think. What's the deal with teasers? And what makes a teaser a quality tease (or a poor tease even)? Let's take a look at a few that have caught our eyes and ears, friends.

Hyosung's "Into You" Sexy Feminine Body Dream Sequence Teaser

This is what we like to call a visual smorgasbord. Hyosung is coming back with another solo release and we're super excited. We're actually fans of her "Goodnight Kiss" solo debut, though the song itself was a bit breathy. Here, we're not getting any of the song, and maybe TS Entertainment is banking on the fact that you're not going to be viewing Hyosung's next music video because of her vocal prowess. Hyosung is the model of imagined femininity here, posing, winking, painting her toenails, and washing a car for your satisfaction. We know because she keeps smiling at us, asking, "Do you like this? How about this? I'm so happy to see you." Since no one else is in the video, the teaser itself is a rather sly attempt at creating intimacy between you, the lovelorn viewer, and Hyosung, who seems to be taken straight from your latest dream sequence. We're even given a beginning and ending grimy videotape motif, presenting this as a private viewing experience, something, dare we say, "Secret."

Hyunseung's "It's Me" Super Short Maybe Amazing Song Audio Teaser

And now we come to the audio teaser, which is a strange animal. Here we get twenty seconds of Hyunseung's "It's Me," which includes, we believe, the hook of the chorus. We get some EDM that may just be your next ringtone. This could be an amazing song. The song of the summer even. But it's just twenty seconds so who knows? Hyunseung could just be shrieking the rest of the song for all we know. Apparently this isn't the promotional single, so in many ways this is a tease for the song but also the single (because who cares about the rest of the album, right?). Teasing the audio tracks is not new and we'll probably get more of these teases before the release of the single - many times whole albums are teased, one short clip of a song leading to another. But twenty seconds? Give us some meat, Hyunseung. We're already hyped on your release, now we want something to chew on already!

Elsie (That's Eunjung!)'s Not So Good "I'm Good" Teasers Confusing but Legs tho 

Sometimes a teaser can give just enough away to make you nervous. We're big fans of T-ara here at Critical Kpop, and Eunjung (or is it Elsie now?) is one of our faves. When word came out that she was getting her own solo debut, we couldn't have been more jazzed. But this first teaser. It's getting us nervous. No, you should not judge a concept by the teaser, friends (we know this). But a teaser is supposed to get you excited. Wet your anticipation (not just just your body, Eunjung/Elsie!). Through this teaser, the song seems like a ballad, and though ballads, in the right hands, with the right vocal chords, can be great, Eunjung isn't exactly known for her voice. This melodramatic shower scene, while showing off Eunjung's gorgeous body (those legs, right?), doesn't really excite us for a killer release. In fact, it has all the hallmarks of getting lost in the crowd. We're hope we're wrong. But as far as teasers go, this is a dud. And the second teaser that just came out?

This confuses things further! Why are they making Elsie seem like an entirely different artist? Is that girl supposed to be a younger Eunjung? Are we being trolled? Is this even a teaser or is this the actual release? Excite us MBK, don't confuse us!

Sixteen's Sixteen Awkward Teasers

As you must know, Sixteen is the upcoming reality/survivor show that will cull down the members until the next big girl group is made before your very eyes. We have some major reservations for this show and nothing from these awkward teasers has quelled our concerns, mainly that the show is going to be a pressure cooker that is going to be needlessly cruel to these young girls who are already feeling the pressure of making it into the Kpop world. And when we say young, we mean YOUNG. One of these girls looks like she's 12 (and may will be 12). There's something alarming too on how cheesy these teasers are - we get some dancing, sometimes some singing, and then a little interview from each hopeful, usually with them giving their role in proposed group (I'm the cute one! I'm the sexy one! I'm the young one! Support me!) before laughing on cue, showing their humble embarrassment. It all seems very produced and wholesome for a show that will push these girls to the limit under many watchful, judging eyes. We pray for these girls and so should you.

Big Bang's "Made" Tour Trailer Yes It's Actually Made Yes They're Actually Back What!

To be fair, this is a trailer, not a teaser. But are you not teased? Only Big Bang can make a teaser for their tour that doesn't feature their own music, and still get over 2 million views. It seems as though they're more concerned with giving an ode to American grindhouse exploitation films, à la Quentin Tarantino. Which, eight years after Grindhouse, still feels really cool. We feel like Big Bang has teased us for ages. Maybe that's all they have left?

But wait - what's that? Big Bang has released their new music video for "Loser?" It's finally happening? How wonderful, and somehow odd, to finally receive what has been teased. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Kpop.

MV of the Month: Lim Kim, ‘Awoo’

April was full of big name comebacks. Exo, EXID, and miss A among them. Surely one of these big name, big money groups, with all the resources at their disposal, would win the coveted MV of the Month? Not so. Though there were plenty of enjoyable music videos in the month of April, it was Lim Kim’s “Awoo” that stood out from the rest as a true masterpiece.

Love songs are a dime-a-dozen, but “Awoo” manages to feel fresh by focusing on the playful act of seduction. “I shake my hidden tail,” Lim Kim sings. “I flirt with you. You fall for me.” Lim Kim uses a cat as the metaphor for this seduction, reminding us how stingy the animals are with their displays of love, how graceful, how playful. But Lim Kim plays the other side, too. She is both the flirty feline and the person who teases the cat to win its affection.

It’s a more nuanced take on seduction in a genre that is desperately short on subtlety. Lim Kim doesn’t wave her butt at the camera or gyrate her hips. She doesn’t dance provocatively or signify male genetalia. In “Awoo,” she shows us that sexuality is about a lot more than obvious physicality. It’s a mind game, and Lim Kim plays that game throughout the music video. She waves a cat toy. She steals the last piece of the puzzle. She knocks over a vase because she knows she can get away with it. Lim Kim torments us, and it’s brilliant.

There’s no signature dance move in “Awoo,” unless you count the fluttering of her fingertips. There’s actually not much motion at all. And yet, the video feels perfectly paired with the rapid iterations of the EDM beat. Lim Kim nods her head, and it is all we need to do the same. She taps her fingers and the music takes us back and forth. The screen flickers when the beat becomes too intense. And the colors! Every little piece and prop is artfully chosen (and we’d expect no less from Mystic Entertainment).

Given the beauty and precision of “Awoo,” it’s easy to forget just how new to Kpop Lim Kim is. After placing third in Superstar K3 (as a member of Togeworl, along with Do Dae-yoon), Lim Kim made her solo debut in 2013. And what a debut it was. Releasing two EPs and one full-length album, Lim Kim hit the top 20 with six separate songs, including “Colorring,” “Rain,” “Voice,” “Goodbye 20,” “Happy Me,” and of course, “All Right.” She earned Best Newcomer awards from both Melon and Golden Disk. And now she’s back working with Do Dae-yoon and Togeworl for her new album, Simple Mind. Not only does “Awoo” herald the comeback of a great artist, but it teases us with what’s to come.


Zander Stachniak is a southern-born, Chicago-based writer who first discovered Kpop through ShoutCast Radio. His biases are f(x) and Block B.

This Week in Kpop: April 19-25, 2015

This Week in Kpop was marred by this foreboding sense of Déjà vu. And it all stemmed from one sad source. Exo is in turmoil again, just after their latest killer release. Fans can only show their support on social media. No one knows what's really going on. And then, like a breath of fresh air, Lim Kim arrives. And for a moment, we remembered why we loved Kpop so much to begin with. We're trying here. We will do our best to combat despair. Lim Kim is here to help.

Lim Kim's "Awoo"

For some strange reason, we always think of Lim Kim as the Queen of Indy, which is just wrong-headed. Lim Kim is not from an indy-label, if anything, with Mystic Entertainment's merger, they're as big as they've ever been. But Mystic's aesthetic does often feel off-kilter from the mainstream, beautifully sublime and crafted (as opposed to micromanaged and endlessly produced). Lim Kim fits right into that aesthetic, leads it proudly, and we've been blessed with such treats as "Rain" and, of course, her masterpiece, "All Right." We were worried that Lim Kim couldn't top herself. We were wrong.

In other hands, "Awoo" could be a sweet, but ultimately forgettable meditation on love. But in Lim Kim's confident hands, and on Mystic Entertainment's supportive shoulders, the release feels like a surrealist painting come to life. Just "off" enough to defy the mainstream while being housed comfortably within it.

Lim Kim is the real deal even though she feels like a dream. She's not your typical diva. She feels more Janis Joplin than Beyonce. More coffee shop than dance floor. And her voice. It will set you free. Good for us that this is just the start of her upcoming releases. Have you seen the teaser for "Love Game?" While we have some reservations of yet another peeping tom in Kpop, at least she's throwing a dart at one of the assailants, instead of singing her loving devotion to them (cough - miss A - cough). As much as we love "Awoo," "Love Game" could be wrecking our worlds very soon.

Park Boram's "Celepretty" 

Park Boram came back this week with this little gem. We can always appreciate a music video that lets their idol poke some fun at their own celebrity, inauspicious as the revelations here are. Still, we're seeing a trend here of Kpop videos that take us behind the curtain (EXID and Stellar come to mind), giving us a representation or at least a parody of their lives as idols, instead of, say, pretending that they are lovelorn girls next door. Park Boram may not be the girl directly next door, but she's close. Maybe the girl next door to that girl. She has the talent, is gorgeous, and has that light touch that makes her relatable and oh so likable. This release is already getting a lot of attention. We have no doubt that she's going to be huge. 

UNIQ's "EOEO"

Exo got you down? Why not check out UNIQ to get your next boy group jam. There's some slick (and salacious) choreography here from this Chinese/Korean mixed group and the song really moves even with the silly sounding E-O-E-O chorus. They whole enterprise is infused with a jolt of energy, making it, just maybe, your cure for the Exo blues.

MR.MR's "Out"

Or maybe that cure will really come from MR.MR's "Out" which is a solid release (with a cheap looking music video). Or maybe the song will just remind you of how much you're missing Ryu, who left in controversy and with a myriad of accusations against his agency. We're getting depressed again. Let's just. Let's just move on.

Standard Press Release for all Exo Departures

Okay. We don't have to tell you the news about Tao possibly very likely leaving Exo. Hell, we've heard and then witnessed similar stories with other members before. And we're sick of this already. So, instead of writing about our confusion and despair, we've developed a standard press release for Exo departures, which you can see here.

Why Not Dal Shabet?

After years in the middle, Girl's Day finally made their mark in Kpop. Now, EXID is making theirs. So why not Dal Shabet? Seriously. Why not? Let's take a look at the girl group here. And then you can tell us.

A Hopeless Love: Exploring Our Obsession with Sad Music

It seems counter-intuitive, doesn't it? Why would you want to obsess over something that produces a negative emotion? Why not take a look at the sad songs of Kpop and why we love them (sometimes)? All you have to do is click here.

King and Queen: Episode 15

After a short break last week, to give you time to catch up, we're proud to bring you episode 15 of our epic fan fiction King and Queen. This week, things get physical! Characters will be in peril! Mysteries will be revealed! We're nearing the conclusion and Kpop High will never be the same! Read episode 15 here.

April 19-25, 2015

And that was This Week in Kpop! We're hoping that we could cheer you up, just a little, as we head into next week and perhaps even more bad news. To end on a bright note, we leave you with Dal Shabet dressed as animals, singing and dancing to "Joker." Seriously, why not Dal Shabet?

Until next week, have fun and be safe!

King and Queen, Episode 15

King & Queen is a Kpop fan fiction drama that is released in an episodic format exclusively at Critical Kpop. Enjoy and keep tuning in for the continuing story! Catch up on previous episodes here!

***

Rap Monster presses his back against the wall. He holds his breath, willing his heartbeat to quiet. Ailee is frozen next to him, both of them listening to the soft sound of footsteps retreating around the corner.

Once the footsteps fade, Rap Monster relaxes. “What are we doing here,” he whispers to Ailee. He checks his phone. Still no service, but the clock works. 1:15 am. He’s too tired to try and make sense of everything that’s happened since the dance began. He’d like to find his bed and shut out the world for eleven hours, but they’re out past curfew, hiding from police officers and members of a secret Kpop High cult alike. When did life get so complicated?

Ailee shushes him, though he’s sure he didn’t say any of that aloud. And then he hears it too. Footsteps around the same corner, but this time growing louder. Ailee grasps his forearm, and the warmth of her hand momentarily distracts him from the danger. She peeks her head around the corner.

“It’s Zico,” she whispers, and Rap Monster can see the expression on her face turn from fear to anger.

“Should we run?” Rap Monster asks, uncertain. Zico was part of The Nameless, he knew. He even suspected Zico had a gun. But was he dangerous?

“No,” Ailee says. “We’re going to fix this.”

And as the footsteps get louder and louder, Rap Monster begins to wonder what is expected of him. Is he supposed to fight Zico? Of course he is. Isn’t he? What if he loses? What if Zico has a gun?

But there’s no time to answer these questions. Zico’s footsteps are almost upon them. Rap Monster balls his hands into fists and takes a deep breath. As soon as Zico’s face appears around the corner, he’s going to pummel him into the ground. He’s going to defend Ailee, and show her the man he is. He’s ready, when he hears Ailee scream as she attacks a terrified-looking Zico.

Ailee jumps him, and Zico stumbles, falls to the ground. Rap Monster watches, helpless, as Ailee claws and slaps at Zico’s head. “Stupid! Idiot!” she says. “How could you!” Zico lifts his hands to protect his face, but Ailee doesn’t let up. She straddles his chest, clobbering him without mercy.

“Ow!” Zico screams, and Rap Monster can’t help but feel pity for him. He gives Ailee another five seconds before he takes mercy and pulls her away. Ailee fights him, throwing elbows to try and get at Zico again.

“Calm down,” he says. “It’s okay, you got him.” Ailee doesn’t stop fighting until she’s out of breath.

“Stay down!” she yells at Zico, who makes no motion to rise.

“Okay,” he says, wiping the blood from his nose. “But I’m not the one you should hate.”

“Shut up!” Ailee yells, and Rap Monster holds her back from attacking again. “I know what you’ve done. You and your cult. You shot JYP, and now you want to kill IU too.”

Zico shakes his head.

“Don’t try and deny it!”

Rap Monster looks back and forth, from the fuming Ailee to the resigned Zico. Something feels off, he notices. Why wasn’t Zico denying any of it?

“I just want to know one thing,” Ailee says. “Why?”

Zico looks up then, at Ailee only, and Rap Monster feels again like he is caught in the middle of something. “Why’d you do it?” he says, if only to remind them of his presence.

“I didn’t do anything.” Zico sits up, leans his elbows onto his knees. “I know you don’t believe me. But I had no idea they were going to shoot JYP. It was supposed to be a simple switch. Steal the envelope, write our own winners, change history. I never wanted anyone to be hurt.”

“You think I’m going to believe you?”

Zico shakes his head. “No. But I want to fix this.”

“Fix what?” Rap Monster says. “Are you going to un-shoot JYP?”

But there’s something about his words that echoes in Rap Monster’s head. The same phrase Ailee had used. Both of them trying to fix something beyond repair.

“Help me find Jonghyun,” Zico says, looking up at both of them, begging for their support. “He’s the leader of The Nameless. Help me find him and turn him in.”

Rap Monster wants to believe him. Even though Zico has been standing in his way at every turn, even though he bristles as the very thought of teaming up with him, Rap Monster believes he is innocent. But he’s not so sure what Ailee is feeling. There’s a long silence while they await her judgment.

“No,” she says. “No. I don’t ever want to see your face again. You stay down until we’re gone.”

And Rap Monster can’t help but feel bad for him.

***

HyunA snorts. “IU? Shoot JYP? You can’t be serious.” She’s never liked Krystal. She always found her to be a snob. Worse, an insecure snob. But until now she hasn’t realized that this girl was also completely out of her mind. HyunA can’t judge her too harshly on this, as she herself has her own eccentricities. But accusing someone of attempted murder? That’s low.

Krystal ignores her again. She hates that about her too. Krystal motions with her flashlight for Amber to follow her down the hallway, where she came. “We can’t go out this way. Since you guys brought the police,” Krystal says, shaking her head. She walks down the lime green hall without looking back.

Amber gives an apologetic shrug, but then follows her. And why wouldn’t she? Wasn’t finding Krystal the whole reason Amber snuck out with her to begin with? And why did HyunA sneak out? Yes, the rest of 4Minute had abandoned her. But what was she going to do if she actually found them? She imagines telling them, “You hurt my feelings.” Boo hoo. Get over it already.

For the first time in maybe all of her life, HyunA doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t trust Krystal. She could easily call it a night, even go back to that police officer, who may just be discovering now that they’ve snuck away. But Amber. Could she really leave her alone with Krystal now? HyunA screams down the hall, “Wait up!” She scurries close behind, hearing bits of Krystal’s ramblings.

“We have to find her before she tries to kill anyone else.”

“I don’t understand,” Amber tells her. “Slow down.”

“No time,” Krystal says.

“How did you get involved with all of this anyway?” Amber asks. Smart. HyunA thought Amber would just gobble up anything that Krystal fed her. She’s underestimated her again. She won’t admit it to her though.

This must have surprised Krystal too because she stops, Amber almost bumping right into her. “You don’t trust me?” Krystal asks her.

Amber looks back at HyunA. HyunA shakes her head. Don’t fall for this, she wants to tell her.

“Of course I do,” Amber tells her.

“Just trust me on this,” Krystal tells her. “You trusted her, didn’t you?” She shines the flashlight at HyunA’s face. HyunA could slug her. “What game are you playing here?” Krystal asks her.

“I don’t have to answer to you.”

Krystal laughs. “You think it’s funny to manipulate people, don’t you? You think we’re all a bunch of idiots and liars. You might even be getting a kick out of getting Amber to follow you around tonight. But this is life and death we’re talking about here, HyunA. It’s not funny anymore.”

“Tell me how you really feel,” HyunA responds, mostly because she doesn’t know how else to. She not letting Krystal get to her, is she?

“Okay,” Krystal answers. “You hate everyone and everyone hates you. I think you’re a parasite. And I think you should stay away from my friend.”

HyunA takes a swing at Krystal but Krystal ducks, and HyunA’s right hand hits against the wall. It’s like punching concrete. Is her hand broken? She collapses to the ground, clutching her right hand.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?” Krystal walks away from her, keeps going down the hallway. Amber doesn’t move.

“What are you waiting for?” HyunA says, her right hand feeling as if it were set on fire. “Why don’t you follow your best friend? Save the school?”

Amber grabs HyunA by her left arm and sets her up. “Was she right?”

“Which part?”

“Do you think this is funny? Was this all a joke for you?”

HyunA can’t believe it. Amber’s taking her side? “Leave me alone,” HyunA says, and she leaves Amber, not meaning to be as mean as she sounds, following Krystal as she reaches a doorway at the end of the hall, Amber’s footsteps tapping softly behind.

Krystal looks back at HyunA. “Control yourself,” she says, as if she’s fearing retaliation.

“Just open the door,” HyunA tells her. She just wants to be away. From all of this. Goodnight. She’s done.

Krystal opens the door. They are greeted to the girl’s bathroom on the other side with a shriek. Gayoon is holding her face, Sohyun patting her on the back, saying, “You’ll be okay.” Jiyoon and Jihyun have IU by the arms, and IU is wailing, kicking in the air, like some wild animal. “Don’t just stand there!” Krystal screams at HyunA. “We have to help them!”

4Minute. Right here. Her supposed friends. With the suspected shooter.

Now what? What exactly is she supposed to do now?

***

Where nobody sees you.

The auditorium is completely dark. The only light comes from the door that Gary walks through. He pauses, there in the light, listening for the sound of another’s presence, but hears nothing. Is he too late? Too early? In the wrong place entirely?

Gary lets the door close behind him, sending the whole place into pitch black. He switches on his flashlight and walks up the long center aisle. He swings the light from side to side, but sees nothing except for empty seats. No one watching.

When he reaches the orchestra pit, Gary turns and walks to his right until he finds stairs that lead to the stage. Someone was here.

In the small circle of light, Gary sees several sets of black robes on the floor of the stage. Candles. What was this? A ritual ceremony?

Gary kneels down to feel the warmth of a recently extinguished candle. He hadn’t missed them by much. He inspects one set of robes, holding it up to judge its size. Short and slim. Probably belonging to a girl.

There’s an uncanny feeling of being watched, and the hairs rise on the back of his neck. And like a scene in a movie, Gary hears a thud and hits the ground. He watches his flashlight roll away. And then there’s black. And then nothing.



To Be Continued...

-C

Standard Press Release for All Exo Departures

Rumors have been circulating recently that Kris Luhan Tao may be leaving the popular award-winning record-setting group, Exo. Citing health issues and unfair treatment, Kris Luhan Tao is reported to have requested contract termination from SM Entertainment. If true, he would be the first second third member to leave the group.

Speculation on the future of Kris Luhan Tao was further fueled by news that member Kris Luhan Xiumin Lay has recently deleted his Instagram account. Although fans of Kris Luhan Tao are hoping the rumors prove to be unfounded, sources close to Kris Luhan Tao have warned us all to watch for a future statement. Fans of Exo showed their support on social media by trending #WeBelieveInYouKrisLuhanTao and #WeAreOne. Fans were especially concerned that Exo’s popular Exology Chapter 1: The Lost Planet Exodus album would be forever mired by this controversy. There is still no hope that Exo-M will survive this these departure(s).

The intense focus on SM’s management practices have also raised eyebrows, with many fans suggesting that the unexpected Red Velvet release, Happiness Be Natural (wait for it), is an attempt to draw attention away from the developing scandal. Unfair management practices have made headlines recently with several major entertainment companies, including Stardom Entertainment Star Empire Entertainment TS Entertainment, facing litigation.

Hopefully, SM Entertainment has learned their lesson with Kris Luhan Tao and will have better relations with their artists. We’re optimistic pessimistic.

Why Not Dal Shabet?

Because seriously, why not Dal Shabet? No, they're not my favorite girl group. They're not even my favorite mid-level girl group that I feel needs to get more attention (that title would have to go to either Fiestar or poor, mismanaged Rainbow, friends).

Their library of releases is strange and sometimes head-scratching. The music video for "Hit U," for example, involved shooting and murdering a terrible (and abusive) former lover and his friends and/or associates. The pink-splattered blood leaks out of the villain as the video closes, Jiyul sitting calmly on the bed, gun in hand. Um. Justice? The girls take another turn at crime during their gun-obsessed era, with "Mr. Bang Bang," the most ill-conceived robbery ever filmed, Kpop or otherwise. They even show their hostages their choreography, guns in hand, of course. By the end of the video, the authorities are so entrapped by the girl's beauty and charisma, and their own greed, that they join in on taking the money. Again: Justice.

Which it to say, Dal Shabet may be the most bonkers girl group in a bonkers industry. You'll never know exactly what you're going to get from them but you're always going to be confused in the best ways possible.

And sometimes they hit gold.

Like "Hate, Don't Hate." Ignore, for a moment, the alien invader(?) music video, and remember the brilliance of their retro warehouse version, which placed our idols in the midst of the working class. The tension of the two worlds alone would make this video memorable. But Dal Shabet's expressions and sometimes lack of expressions, interactions with the workers and the workers interactions with them, really plays with the idea of image and Kpop music videos, making it one of the best music videos of 2012 and maybe ever.

So why not Dal Shabet? What makes EXID break out when a group like Dal Shabet stay forever middling? And don't just say fancam. Dal Shabet has some fancams that will make your jaw drop. They have the talent. They have the look. They even have the legs. They have an entire song, as you well know, where they invite you to look at those damn legs (just be ambitious already!). They even have the English. Okay, maybe they don't know how to utilize all of the English, but a video like "Big Baby Baby," with words popping onscreen that have less and less relevance, prospers under the weight of its own incoherence.

Incoherence is key here. But so is controversy. Men's right's groups (just as absurd in Korea as here in the US of A) were indignant over some of the sexual aggressive lyrics of "Be Ambitious," and felt as though they were making light of military service with the buffoons depicted in the video. Right now, "Joker" has been reinstated at KBS' "Music Bank" after a change in lyrics, because some of the original lyrics may have sounded too much like intercourse. And don't get us started on that butt shake and those crotch grabs. But controversy can equal attention, right? Salaciousness can often lead to stardom. So, again, I ask you, why not Dal Shabet?

Could it be that their comebacks are so wildly divergent from each other that a more casual fan has trouble grasping onto what this group is all about? Could it be that the individual members haven't broken out on variety shows or on dramas to the level of some of the more major girl groups? Are they missing their Suzy or their Hani or their Jimin? Is it the agency? Or maybe just the bad luck they experienced in 2014, with Subin's car accident and Woohee's collapsed lung?

Or maybe Dal Shabet is fine where they are. Their situation isn't exactly dire and they've had more success than some groups. Not everyone can be on the top of the mountain at once, can they? Then it wouldn't be a mountain. It'd just be a hill. And no one cares if you conquer a hill.

You have to hand it to Dal Shabet. Even their strangest songs are fun to listen to. They're not here to make art (though sometimes, perhaps inadvertently, they do), They aren't here to redefine the Kpop landscape. They're all about pop. And they're working very hard to make that pop. Subin even contributed to all of the songs of their latest album and has been listed as a producer. How cool is that?

Yes, I can't name all the members and sometimes I lose track of who's who (though admitedly, GaEun = my bias). "Joker" is a fun, sexy song but has copyright infringement written all over (bonkers!). And I must repeat: Dal Shabet is not my favorite girl group. In all honesty, they may not even be in my top ten.

But is "Joker" on my playlist? On repeat? Along with "Hit U" and "Hate, Don't Hate" and "Big Bad Baby?" Absolutely.

So why not Dal Shabet? You tell me.

Timothy Moore writes from Chicago. He blogs at Read My Blog Please, and edits at Ghost Ocean Magazine. His biases are T-ara, Block B, Nine Muses, Brown Eyed Girls, and Girl's Day.

A Hopeless Love: Exploring Our Obsession With Sad Music

I am forever intrigued by the way art (music, stories, film, physical media, etc.) becomes engrained in our subconscious, by the way we come to obsess over what we enjoy. I’ve written about how Kpop models that obsession in popular music videos. I’ve written about the inability of brain chemistry to explain our obsessions. I’ve even written about how our obsession with the single hurts Kpop in the long run. Today I’m continuing that journey. But this time I’m exploring our obsession with something we can’t possibly enjoy: sadness.

It seems counterintuitive. Why would we want to obsess over something that produces a negative emotion? Why would we lay ourselves down and press repeat on a playlist that makes us nothing but sad. And yet we’ve all done it. We’ve all created an unbearably sad playlist after a bad breakup. We’ve all loaded up our favorite tear-jerker on a bad day and belted out the lyrics. And this makes sense: when we feel sad, we listen to sad music. But why, I want to ask, would we enjoy a sad song at any other time? If we only ever listened to music that matched our mood, why would we have so many sad songs in our music libraries? Why would so many of the classics be so sad?

For today’s exploration, I’ve created a three-song playlist of wildly different Kpop heartbreakers. I can’t find a single connection between these three songs, aside from theme. There’s a haunting ballad, a steady EDM hit, and a devastating rap. All they share is sadness. More specifically: the sadness of hopeless love. Go ahead, listen along with me to Jimin Park’s “Hopeless Love,” miss A’s “Love Alone,” and Mad Clown’s “Fire,” and tell me what you think. Are you obsessed with sad songs? Why?

Jimin Park’s “Hopeless Love” is a gorgeous ballad. Her vocals are unbelievable good, just as they are unbelievably sad. Describing a hopeless love, Park sings, “It knocks on my heart endlessly / But I am tightly shutting the door.” She tries to protect herself, to avoid the sadness, but it is an impossible task. “It hurts,” she sings, “but why can’t I turn away?” Why can’t we all turn away from the sadness to experience only joy?

Hansjörg Schertenleib’s novella, “A Happy Man,” was written as an attempt to create an engaging story based on a character who does not experience an ounce of sadness in his life. The experiment was largely a failure. Not in terms of the writing, but in terms of the attempt at avoiding all sadness. Sadness crept into Schertenleib’s writing almost immediately in the form of nostalgia, missed opportunities, and the adjacent sadness of loved ones. It’s simply not possible to produce an engaging story without sadness, depression, and despair. Schertenleib’s experiment owes a lot to Naguib Mahfouz’s “The Happy Man,” a 1988 story with a similar premise. A man wakes up happy, which Mahfouz describes as “most strange.” The strangeness of being so happy for such a long period of time makes the man so uncomfortable that his happiness becomes a kind of despair. The thing is, joy isn’t possible without sadness. It lacks context. Try to think of the last movie you saw in which nothing bad happened. Give up?

“Love Alone” is maybe the least obviously sad of the three songs on my playlist. Falling in love is never sad. Right? Not so fast. The love described in this song never drifts far from being unrequited: “I don’t wanna be in love alone / See me falling yeah but I can’t be the only one.” There’s a desperate need in “Love Alone,” a constant call to a love without a response. It’s unbearably sad to hear miss A repeat, again and again, “If it’s an illusion / I need you to tell me now,” without ever receiving confirmation. A hopeless love.

Sadness and joy can be thought of not only as opposites, but as opposite reactions. Newton’s third law states that any action must be met by an equal and opposite reaction. It’s a kind of call and response. Could it be that sadness works this way? Could it be that experiencing sadness produces an opposite internal reaction of joy? Or, to put it another way: does sadness beget joy? Oh, it’s not as clean as all that.

Mad Clown’s “Fire” is notable for the intense uncertainty that comes across in the song. This isn’t just a hopeless love, it’s a confusing and uncertain love. Even the two voices of Mad Clown and Jinsil are at odds with one another. The song recounts a failed relationship that neither party is fully able to back away from. “Am I the crazy one? Are you the crazy one? Am I the crazy one for not being able to leave the crazy you?” It’s messy.

It would be wrong to claim that sadness automatically brings joy. Life is never so simple, so certain. But I do think that sadness is a necessary experience. Just as absence makes the heart grow fonder, just as you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone, sadness reminds me how to feel joy. Sadness makes each positive emotion that much better. Each time sadness echoes in the empty chambers of my heart, joy has an opportunity to fill the void. Which is why, as crazy as it sounds, I think an obsession with sadness is a necessary thing. Listen to all the bangers you want; if your playlist lacks heartbreak, you’re not experiencing joy to its fullest.


Zander Stachniak is a southern-born, Chicago-based writer who first discovered Kpop through ShoutCast Radio. His biases are f(x) and Block B.

This Week in Kpop: April 12-18, 2015

This Week in Kpop is brought to you by THE BOOTY. Yes, JYP may look flummoxed in the image above, but you would be too if you were so fortunate to love something with such intensity that it would drive you to song. Booty was not the only thing this week brought us. Block B's subgroup debuted, EXID came back, and guess what? We have a podcast now. This Week in Kpop. Let's get this started.

JYP's "Who's Your Mama?"

With "Who's Your Mama?" JYP may have achieved MAXIMUM BOOTY. Yes, Kpop has had a love affair with butt that just keeps getting more extreme. But JYP has taken this to an absurd level that will be extremely hard to top. This is Kpop's "Baby Got Back," a love letter to the derriere, and perhaps it should only be viewed with the same affection we now bestow on Sir Mix-a-lot's classic. Though not nearly as explicit as say Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda," JYP may just be pushing the same buttons in a very conservative Korean culture.

As a critical site, a part of us wants to break this video down and analyze Korea's image and gender issues. But, come on. It's hard to take a video seriously when JYP opens "Who's Your Mama?" with asking the woman working out next to him (after sufficiently checking her out): "What's your waist size?" and then: "Your hip?" with the woman not missing a beat, answering as if these were common questions or as if JYP were asking for the time. It's also hard to take seriously because, well, JYP. Maybe JYP is the only artist who could pull off such a release - because of his earnestness (he actually, sincerely, loves that booty), his charisma, and because he may just be insane, or a genius, or both (it's probably both).

Because "Who's Your Mama" is actually a killer song. You'll be singing parts of the chorus in the shower, or saying, "Shake that booty - that booty, booty" on your way to school or work. People will stare. But you won't be able to help it. You may even be shaking your own booty. Who knows? Jessi's inclusion here fits the song well, though we would have liked to have seen more of her. Still, this is a strong release and it's shooting up the charts, so Koreans seem to love JYP and will keep loving the booty. So, in short - "Who's Your Mama?" is absurd, objectifying, outdated, catchy, and a whole lot of fun.

Bastarz' "Zero For Conduct"

Just when we needed them, Block B's subgroup, Bastarz, made their debut this week. We're wondering a bit why this had to come from the subgroup instead of Block B proper, especially since we just miss Block B. But this is still a great song and the hip hop we need during this dry spell. There's been some controversy with their teaser being offensive to Japanese culture, but why don't you listen about that, and this release, in the first episode of our incredible podcast?!

Critical Kpop Podcast - Episode 1

Great segue, right? LISTEN. IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. We have finally started our very own podcast, friends, and we can't be more excited! Join us for the "Genesis," as we tackle Block B's new subgroup, EXID's latest comeback, and the exquisite madness of JYP. You can check that out right here.

Interpreting EXID's Compelling 'Ah Yeah' (As Best We Can)

By now you've watched EXID's "Ah Yeah" music video like the rest of us, and perhaps you're just as thrilled as us that the video is actually saying something about censorship. Or is it? We try to break down the music video here, (as best we can).

Fei Shows off Her True Colors: A Look at the Fourth Episode of "Real miss A"

We've been looking at miss A these past few weeks through Real miss A, and this week we finally get a peek at the life of Fei. Which makes us wonder: How come we always forget about Fei? This is what we've come up with.

King and Queen: Catch Up!

Instead of bringing you a new episode of our fan fiction epic, King and Queen, we've decided to give you an opportunity to catch up on the show! Experience a chaotic night at Kpop High from the beginning! Check out our episode list here!

April 12-18, 2015

And that was This Week in Kpop! Was there too much BOOTY this week? Don't worry, next week will take us back to our regularly scheduled programming. We're very excited about our podcast, as you may tell. Check it out and tell us what you think, yes? We're just getting started. Until next week, have fun and be safe!

Critical Kpop Podcast - Episode 1

We're excited to introduce the brand new Critical Kpop Podcast! Join 'L,' Tim Moore, and Zander Stachniak as they discuss the clever censorship of EXID's "Ah Yeah," BASTARZ (or BASTARDS?) and the apparent racism in "Conduct Zero," JYP and his butt obsession--we mean "Who's Your Mamma," and the sexy construction workers of Girl's Generation's "Catch Me If You Can."

Critical Kpop Podcast - Episode 1 by Critical Kpop on Mixcloud

You can subscribe to the Critical Kpop Podcast on iTunes, or check this and future episodes out at www.mixcloud.com/CriticalKpop. You can expect a healthy serving of news, reviews, and critical analysis in every episode. The Critical Kpop Podcast is the only podcast that invites you to LISTEN HARDER.

Fei Shows Her True Colors: A Look at the Fourth Episode of 'Real Miss A'

An archetype, according to Carl Jung, is a pattern or symbol that can be recognized across cultures. Archetypes are primary, are subconscious. And every Kpop group has them. There’s always a “most popular” member, often identified by good looks. There’s always a rapper, a dancer. There’s always a leader. But where does Fei fit in to miss A? What archetype is she defined by?

Fei often seems like the leader to a group that has no leader. Which could be why, out of all the members of miss A, Fei seems to have caught on the least. Without that leadership role, how does one perceive Fei? She is the oldest member, at 27, and even if she wasn’t, she does give the perception as the most mature. She’s certainly no superstar like Suzy, and the most energetic (and some would argue, talented) of the idols would have to be Min. Like Jia, she’s a Chinese transplant, groomed, originally, for a Chinese girl group that never happened. Which is not to say that Fei is lacking in any way. In “Only You,” she may even steal the show, bringing a mature sexuality and gravitas that balances well with, say, Suzy’s “girl next door” charm.

But we wonder, quite often actually, why, out of all the members, Fei is usually the one we most easily forget? If it’s not something she’s missing, what could it possibly be? And would her solo jaunt in Real miss A somehow give us something of her to grasp onto? Something real?

In this episode, we follow Fei as she shops at a make-up store. It’s a rollercoaster of “will she won’t she” buy something. That’s sarcasm (though spoiler: after complaining that everything she wants is sold out, she buys something). The episode is unfortunately lacking in interest until Fei brings us onto the set of the last day of filming for Idols, True Colors, a China-based podcast. Fei hands the camera over to Zhoumi of Super Junior, who then interviews her. The show she hosts with both Zhoumi and Jia is worth a watch, though with accompanying animation and sound effects looks as “true” as any other carefully produced idol show. The “true” here is perhaps as true as Real miss A is “real,” but there’s still something in this episode. Trust us.

For each episode of Real miss A, we’ve been pointing out the moment we feel is most true, most real. This is, after all, Real miss A. Sometimes, it’s harder than others. But in episode four, that moment has to be when Zhoumi asks Fei how she feels about her upcoming release. “I feel great,” she says. And she could have left it at that. Most idols would. But Fei goes deeper. She let’s us in when she adds, “And so nervous at the same time.” She adds, pragmatically even, “I think everyone...ah, not everyone...but many people will like this new song.”

It’s a perfect answer, real in every way that matters. That nervousness is something all of us can recognize. She is vulnerable here, having put herself out there for everyone to judge. And vulnerability is an archetype. It’s something we recognize and understand. Maybe, just maybe, that’s what Fei’s has been missing all along.